No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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