thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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