Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
