You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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