Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
