Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
