oh god the rape fog is back!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
