Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
