i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
