We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
