She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
