ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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