I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
