In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
