I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think your dad took our porno
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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