I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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