Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize