yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
