well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
