well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
