I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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