So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
