The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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