soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
