I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
