her vagine was all disorganized.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
