Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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