so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
