I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
