the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
