rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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