I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
