she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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