when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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