I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's shark week go big or go home
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
