I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
