I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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