God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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