Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
