He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize