talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
