Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
