Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
