And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
