come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
