You work out of a Hotel?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
