i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
