Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
