dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
