i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His nipple licking is glorious
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