All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
