the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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