i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
