Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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