Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
