After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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