i think my tv is drunk
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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