addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
