Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
