party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
