At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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